I am a BAD blogger! I think if that’s how one starts the majority of their posts, they shouldn’t blog. How time flies... We have met our financial cliff and by God’s grace my husband is pulling in enough web work for us to stay afloat and enjoy an occasional morning Panera date. Mmm... hazelnut coffee and cream cheese :)
My year of hosting is coming up and I’m contemplating moving this site to my photography site, I haven’t made a decision yet. This blog was started as a practice project for my husband and a way to network with my ehow work and their media business. I avoid writing and have been contemplating what I would do if I continued a blog. I occasionally make “expert” videos for ehow, am leadership in our church, and love learning new things. I felt this pressure to perform and I hate that- it breeds self-righteousness or feelings of failure. I need neither of those. I’ve decided for the next month I’m going to take another stab at it and blog on things I find helpful as a mom, wife and Christian minus the “Perfecting Raw Cheese” and “How to home can anything!” posts. I don’t have time for that nonsense.
But before I go any further I want to make something clear: I’m a mess. My house is a disaster. I FINALLY conquered laundry mountain last night though I know it will be back by Friday. Don’t misunderstand me, It’s not dirty (hear that cps happies?). It’s simply a reflection of my thinking which is mostly chaos- and my two year old just now chewed open a pen, really? Sometimes I yell at my kids (like just now) and Years of unbiblical responses to disappointment and fear have built walls. I don’t love like I want to love. I don’t relish life like I want to relish. This isn’t the fault of circumstances. I’m jealous of people’s pretty houses. Vacations. Stylish clothes. This is something I continually preach the gospel to myself over- I choose freedom from it. HE is so much better.
The Lord is faithful to me- he’s bringing about a righteous life in me but it’s still pretty bad. It’s worse than I can even know but I have freedom in Christ. It’s where I choose to live.
So where am I going to go with this?
I have a little list in my mind... nothing too genius. I’m not perfect, remember?